I leave in 37 days. Approximately. More like 36 days and 12 hours. I'm not quite sure what to do with that prospect - the prospect of leaving the States to live in Scotland for 4 months. Wow. I am excited...I really am! Granted, for the longest time I didn't want to talk or even think about leaving. But now I can finally admit that I am excited to leave and travel and experience new things. I'm excited to be on my own and to challenge myself in new ways. I'm excited to see beautiful places and learn new things and hear those amazing Scottish/English accents all around me every day!
But I'm nervous too. Quite nervous. I am nervous about traveling alone, going to unknown places, meeting all new people, taking new classes at a new university, and being so far away from all the people I love for a fairly long period of time (at least relative to my absences thus far).
And I'm also relieved. Relieved to leave behind a very busy, extremely trying, and thoroughly exhausting (though also quite rewarding) semester, to be done with my honors thesis (hopefully!), to start afresh in a new year and a new place, to close one chapter of my life and open another, to meet new people and make new friends, and to have experiences that will, I'm sure, help form who I am and who I will become.
But then I remember that each experience also brings me one step closer to that even scarier, though equally exciting chapter of life: the chapter of real life! (That is, life as an adult after undergrad...though I guess grad school still isn't real life.) But knowing that a semester abroad will most certainly help prepare me for real life, I feel strangely comforted by this natural progression of experiences, from scary to scarier. :) I can push myself into "scary" with the hope that it will make "scarier" a little less scary, if that's even possible (and if that even makes sense!)...Further, it's my hope (and prayer) that this semester will also help prepare me to live life with greater abandon, faith, joy, fullness, spontaneity, commitment, perseverance, courage, and confidence - confidence in myself and in God's powerful presence at work in my life.
